Gardening according to the goddess of fertility & abunda

For anyone interested in gardening & a bit of light relief from the problems of this world
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thin and crispy
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Re: Gardening according to the goddess of fertility & abunda

Post by thin and crispy » Sat Oct 20, 2018 3:41 pm

Glad you liked it John. You're right, the NHS did provide homeopathic treatment at one time. What next I wonder; dance classes on prescription?

Just in case there are some readers who haven't heard of homeopathy, it's a New Age practice that increases the potency of medicine by repeatedly diluting it in water. The practitioner adds one drop of the (usually herbal) medicine to seven gills of pure water, and 'energises' the mixture by giving it a quick shake. Then, a single drop of that diluted mixture is added to another seven gills of water and energised in the same way. This dilution procedure is repeated either 12 or 20 times until, statistically speaking, there is not even one molecule of the original medicine left. The final ultra-diluted "mixture" is administered to the patient in the belief that the water contains the spiritual (and thus more powerful) imprint of the original medicine. Sounds logical enough to me.

Indeed, I'm thoroughly convinced by homeopathy, and I'd certainly recommend Nat's book to everyone here. I learnt a great deal from it - and I'm sure you will too. Not only does it include homeopathic remedies for "feeling a bit down" and "a slight twinge in your little finger", you'll also learn how to save money AND get drunk on homeopathic whiskey. Even better than that: why not avoid fuel duty, reduce your carbon footprint, and solve the global energy crisis with homeopathic petrol? The possibilities are so mind blowing that you'll need to sit down and have a glass of homeopathic water - it's a bit like normal water but much more dilute and therefore much better for you.

Indeed, just half a molecule of it will leave you desperate for a pee. But whatever you do, don't do it in a reservoir or everybody in the country will be drinking homeopathic widdle. Mind you, Sarah Miles used to swear by the "Golden Tonic Water", so you'd probably be doing us all a favour. Come to think of it, all the sewers run into the water system at one point or another so the whole of humanity must have been drinking homeopathic piddle for eons. The idiots! They thought it was just water! That's obviously the origin of the myth that drinking water is good for you. Drinking homeopathic piddle is good for you! It's all starting to make sense now. Scientists wouldn't think of it that way, they're too closed minded.

Just thought! If all the water in the world is really homeopathic wee wee, we must have been diluting our homeopathic remedies with homeopathic wee wee, not with water. Wow! That must be why all the remedies work. Pee is the key! Too mindblowing, dude. I think I'll just put my dick in my mouth and become self sufficient. It's the ultimate in recycling, and definitely the best way to go green.

By the way, does anyone know a homeopathic cure for teeth-marks in my love-truncheon?
Prejudice, not being founded on reason, cannot be removed by argument. Samuel Johnson.

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Re: Gardening according to the goddess of fertility & abunda

Post by Fairclough » Tue Apr 16, 2019 11:15 am

You could try Savlon but I don't think it tastes too good. :wink:

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