Gardening according to the goddess of fertility & abunda

For anyone interested in gardening & a bit of light relief from the problems of this world
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thin and crispy
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Post by thin and crispy » Tue Jul 17, 2007 11:42 pm

Hello Denise,

What I meant was that on the cosmic scale of things, the actions of a single human being don't have any significant effect on the wider universe - which is unimaginably more vast and more important than planet Earth or indeed the human race.

In round numbers there are a hundred thousand million galaxies, each with a hundred thousand million stars. A significant fraction of those are likely to have planets that can support life. Whatever we do on Earth, we are extremely unlikely to influence any other sentient being or race out there, let alone alter the fate of the cosmos.

Our actions often do matter very much to other residents of this planet. That's why I said there's generally no valid reason not to strive to maximise the quality of your own life and that of the people around you.

I do believe morality is extremely important within one's own sphere of influence. I tend to take a very moral standpoint on everything - though not in the religious sense. (I somethimes think I try to do the right thing far too often :) ). I just don't think anyone should need the carrot and stick of religion to encourage good behaviour.

I don't think it's denial not to want to know all the answers. As you say, life's too short. Quality of life is the most important thing and everyone needs to get the balance right. I guess we all settle on whatever outlook suits us best.

:shock: I've just realised: I'm waffling on about the meaning of life, the universe and everything - and this is the Gardening section of the web site!

My next post will be about compost - I promise. :D

Kind regards,
Jim

Uriah Heap
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Post by Uriah Heap » Wed Jul 18, 2007 11:30 am

Phew! :D

ned
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Post by ned » Wed Jul 18, 2007 4:38 pm

well i appreciate all your comments - thanks heaps .......


when you start a compost heap does it smell? whats the best way to start one and do you need to buy something to start one off in or is it easy to 'bodge' one up so to speak ? :wink: :)
Things are more like they are now than they ever were before

Uriah Heap
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Post by Uriah Heap » Sat Jul 28, 2007 8:50 pm

hello thin and crispy hellooo where are you.
thin and crispy wrote: I now aspire to be intellectually challenged.
dont you just hate those politicly correct uphanisms?

DELETED tHE NEXT COS ITS A BIT RUDE

we havent heard from you for ags thin and cripy. you promissed us something about compost. are you hibenating behindf your heap.
Last edited by Uriah Heap on Thu Oct 18, 2007 12:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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thin and crispy
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Post by thin and crispy » Thu Aug 02, 2007 10:49 pm

Hibernating? Chance would be a fine thing. I suffer from Idiopathic Hyposomnia, which means I only need 3 1/2 hours sleep a night. "Hyposomnia" is doctor-speak for "you don't get as much sleep as a normal person"; "Idiopathic" is doctor-speak for "we haven't got a clue why".

No reason. No cure. No problem. All those tests were really worth the effort. Still I'm in "good" company. Our glorious leader of the 1980s, Mrs T, was similarly afflicted I believe. And on the up side I get plenty of time to write and surf the web in the wee small hours.

OK URIAH, I'LL DELETE MY QUOTE AS WELL THEN.

.
Last edited by thin and crispy on Tue Oct 30, 2007 11:03 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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thin and crispy
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Post by thin and crispy » Tue Aug 14, 2007 9:04 pm

Just in case anyone is interested in what I've been saying about the rise of irrational New Age nonsense, and the dangers therein, you might like to watch a new TV series (Monday on Channel 4, I think) called "The Enemies of Reason" presented by Richard Dawkins.

He makes essentially the same points that I have (and a lot more besides), but puts it far more eloquently and persuasively. It's fascinating stuff, and shocking in parts as well. Apparently, 50% of the population seriously believe in Astrology. It's frightening that such a high number of people are influenced by such baseless, unscientific, irrational rubbish. But then, I suppose I'm bound to say that. I'm a Capricorn; and all Capricorns are born sceptics.
.

Rosenberg
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Post by Rosenberg » Sat Oct 27, 2007 2:19 am

Hilarious :lol: :lol: :lol:

I have just been writing on another thread about our local hippy. What thin and crispy has said is so true. He's just just drug addled nutter.

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thin and crispy
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Post by thin and crispy » Tue Oct 30, 2007 11:00 pm

Rosenberg wrote:I have just been writing on another thread about our local hippy. What thin and crispy has said is so true. He's just just drug addled nutter.
Thanks for the compliment Rosenberg! I can assure you, however, that my faculties have not been compromised by drugs: I was an "addled nutter" long before I started doing Sanatogen.

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thin and crispy
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Post by thin and crispy » Fri Feb 22, 2008 10:55 pm

I thought this thread had met its esoteric end and gone to commune with the great spiritual composter in the sky. But I've just seen the final few minutes of an article about Biodynamics on BBC's The One Show and I feel magically compelled to post again. I don't know why, but somehow the mystical combination of Cosmic Fire and Air energies emanating from the Biodynamic expert's mouth has imbued me with a new and invigorated life-force.

Fascinating though it was, the BBC article seemed to depict only the "sensible" face of Biodynamics - addressing the question of whether a Lunar Carrot is better than a Solar Carrot.

It's a pity the report didn't delve any deeper into the hokum-infested core of the subject. I can only hope that this TV exposure doesn't help Biodynamics to creep insidiously into the mainstream public consciousness without everyone being aware of the crucial role played by Gnomes, Ley lines and Deer bladders.

I expect, however, that Biodynamics will soon join the ranks of the trendy; and before you know it, Biodynamic cucumbers will be as popular as colonic irrigation.

Where I live, the Alternative Revolution is already in full swing. As I've mentioned before, I have the misfortune to live in one of the country's New Age hotspots. There must be hundreds of hippies here, wandering aimlessly around the town with vacant, staring expressions on their spaced out, bony faces. It's a bit like Dawn of the Dead - except that the zombies are all vegetarian.

They're absolutely everywhere. You can't walk 100 yards down the road without being accosted by the smell of joss sticks or the sight of a greasy beard and sweaty sandals mincing their way towards the local pottery co-operative.

Nowadays, the town can proudly boast an example from every level of the hippy taxonomy: everything from Neil in The Young Ones right through to laid-back art teachers and saggy old social workers. Our street even has its own Spiritual Poet. Aren't we lucky?

They are all, of course, genuinely creative people ("Aren't my new net curtains magical: I macramed them myself using recycled garden twine."). And they are so bl**dy superior with it. They're superior because they decorate their own teapots. They're superior because they're on first name terms with every tree in the vicinity. They're superior because they recycle all of their bodily waste.

In fact, they'll recycle anything they can get their hands on: everything from clapped-out camper vans to religion.

They do seem willing to have a go at just about anything though: building multi-storey sheds; building multi-storey compost heaps; painting daisies on their windows; dancing up and down the garden in the rain; composing "Peace and Love" chants to the tinkle of a Hari Krishna bell; having drug-induced street brawls; doing all forms of midnight DIY; and of course chopping down your plants. You have to hand it to them - they're not slaves to convention. If they hear your tree asking to be pruned, they'll be only too pleased to hop over the fence and "spiritually nurture" it with a chainsaw.

Recently, after considerable debate and chanting, one of our local New Age groups decided to cut down some of their own trees. Yes, your read it right: their OWN trees! Whilst the commune's elders subscribed to the belief that plants are sentient beings and that "all wood is murder", the trees had become extremely overgrown and were beginning to argue amongst themselves. The resulting cosmic disharmony was spreading to the cannabis factory next door, so in this particular case they felt that a quick chop with the loppers was justifiable homicide.

The next day, on their return from the Seventh Astral Plane, the hippy committee (They who Vocalise the Energy of the Ring) had a bit of a rethink and decided to delay the arboreal execution for a month so they could properly mourn the passing of the Tree Spirits!

I discovered the ensuing "Vigil for the Driads", not because I have an all-seeing Third Eye or because I've transcended the bounds of my material existence to commune with the Akasha, but because I know someone who works with the hippy "tree feelers". She's not a believer herself, but after being subjected to their anthroposophical indoctrination for several months, she says it all begins to seem quite normal after a while! Now that's a tiny bit frightening.

I've given her a sign to hang over her desk:
  • 'You don't have to be Elemental to work here, but it helps'.
Her colleagues don't get the joke. Maybe it would have been more acceptable if I had embroidered it on a tapestry woven from recycled belly-button fluff.

(Posters in the "Trees" forum take note: if your NFH wants you to butcher your favourite tree because it overhangs their garden / stops their light / drops leaves / hinders TV reception etc., just tell them it will contravene the Tree Spirit's human rights. They will either be thoroughly convinced by your argument, or they'll come to the conclusion that you're a dangerous head case. Either way, they'll stop pestering you.)

Unfortunately, New-Ageism seems to be a growing nation-wide phenomenon. Right across the country they've organised themselves into a loose alliance of small businesses and pressure groups intended to promote every aspect of the hippy lifestyle: spiritual; 'educational'; crystal crafts; alternative healing; and of course Biodynamics. (I guess this evening's piece on The One Show was engendered by the Biodynamics propaganda machine - although I think the cogs might need adjusting a bit, as it all seemed to backfire somewhat.)

In certain favoured locations, the Biodynamic Bumpkins even run courses on mystical gardening - ideal for the uninitiated and for people who need reminding just how gullible (I mean "differently conscious") they are. Why not sign up? You could discover how to grow your own Biodynamic lentils so you'll never have to go to Waitrose again. Dispense with nasty insecticides, and grow fruit with added protein and a richer, meatier flavour. Learn how to activate your compost heap with urine - even in a strong cross-wind. In fact, they'll teach you everything you need to know about spiritual self-sufficiency and opting out of the wicked, commercial rat race - all for just £999.99 plus VAT. :mrgreen:

And, if you're feeling really adventurous, you could expand your carbon footprint by a few sandal sizes and fly out to this year's Biodynamic conference. Last year it was held in the Silly Isles, where else? (Not sure whether I have spelled that correctly - but it looks right somehow.)

Biodynamic believers have even exhibited at the Hampton Court Palace Flower Show. You see how mainstream it now is? Come on Monty Don: surely it's time Gardeners' World did a feature on Biodynamics. It just needs a sympathetic treatment and a presenter who can keep a straight face...
.
Last edited by thin and crispy on Tue Aug 05, 2008 8:20 pm, edited 7 times in total.

hippygirl
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Post by hippygirl » Sat Feb 23, 2008 6:25 am

Very good t&c :lol: Just a quick question...if I have run out of belly button fluff is it acceptable to use the bits I find between my toes to make a nice jacket for my Gnomes :?:
Ps...despite my name my sandals are never "sweaty" because I always wear socks with them :wink:

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voiceofthemysteron
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Post by voiceofthemysteron » Sat Feb 23, 2008 8:41 am

[quote="hippygirl"] Just a quick question...if I have run out of belly button fluff is it acceptable to use the bits I find between my toes to make a nice jacket for my Gnomes :?:
quote]

Would you like to borrow my tool :oops:

Image

hippygirl
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Post by hippygirl » Sat Feb 23, 2008 12:50 pm

:) Cheers votm, I have seen those in Anne Summers....didn't realise they were for removing belly button fluff tho :!: :shock:
BTW does your tool come in a bigger size :lol:

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thin and crispy
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Post by thin and crispy » Sat Feb 23, 2008 5:01 pm

Oh Matron!
hippygirl wrote:...is it acceptable to use the bits I find between my toes to make a nice jacket for my Gnomes
Yes that's perfectly acceptable, hippygirl - anything that avoids depleting Mother Earth's natural resources. I've never been lucky (or stoned) enough to see a Biodynamic Gnome myself, but I understand that they are ten feet tall - so knitting a jacket might take you a while. Make sure it's not a hoodie jacket though - Biodynamic Gnomes don't have heads so they might think you are taking the p***. And you wouldn't want to offend the Elementals would you?

hippygirl
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Post by hippygirl » Sat Feb 23, 2008 7:49 pm

Thanks for the advice t&c...as I have big feet I will have a jacket knocked up in no time and to show that I am a grateful hippy I am going to make you a tea cosy with any leftovers :lol:

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thin and crispy
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Post by thin and crispy » Sat Feb 23, 2008 8:21 pm

That's ... er, great hippygirl. Very kind of you. With something to keep my pot in, I won't feel like the odd-one-out in the neighbourhood any more. :wink:

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