Hints of Autumn colour

[WILL*REMAIN*STRONG]

Hi apples, you don't need to have an exciting weekend to a good fun one. We always enjoy our time together, doesn't matter what we do really. I can tell you and Mr apples are the same. I'm glad you had fun with your grandchildren and they kept you on your toes. Did your grandson like Cuddles then?

Awww if I was your neighbour I would avoid making a sausage smog, I would invent the smokeless BBQ, or just cook food and take it outside. But I would do a rain dance and make it rain often, not to annoy, just so that I don't have to keep watering. I like rain...weird I am.

Velvet curtains were all the rage a few decades ago, I don't dislike them funny enough, but they are a little heavy for my taste. You need the right type of home I think. Our house growing up was a lovely large Victorian property, with lots of original features, and the velvet curtains were nice...if a little smelly.

We thing Rudey's lump is a little bit smaller, but only time will tell. I don't want him having to go to the vet and have lump removal, just because he will be so stressed and upset by it. But we can't take any chances, he is our fluffy baby.

I bet you wish you could train those two cats to simply poop over the fence into your neighbour's garden. They could do all their business there. You could add a bit of bark mulch to their garden somewhere when they are not looking, Rudey will not poop in anything else. Our border is full of Rudey poop, and lawn full of foxy pop, but I don't mind too much.

So your petunias are all droopy too! I got rid of some yesterday and planted some impatiens, they are so pretty. The lobelia at the front looked awful too, very burnt in the sun, so that's gone. I have a little more planting to do, but not much. Hebes are nice, what kind did you plant?

Yes the year is flying by, I don't want it to really, I can wait for Christmas, but at the same time am very excited! We need to do lots more before xmas. I am going fishing today, wish me luck! I need to catch more than just weed this time. If I catch something, no matter how small, I will take a piccy.

It would be funny to fill your home with letters spelling out really obvious things, but in a far more funny way just to provoke reaction from someone who does it themselves, but doesn't know why. Then have a good bonfire with all the terrible tasteless tat. I would be so rude with it, oh I do think of some shameless things at times. But it does amuse me. I would put the words “sit your fat bum down here and talk some crap about something I am not interested in, but I might fake a little give a sh*t if you are very lucky” that could go above the settee. Maybe I could put “Love is in this house, but so is a general feeling of loathing to most people outside of it too” above the door. I could put “welcome to just about no one” on a door mat. Above the bed I could put “This is where the magic happens, and the snoring, the drooling, catching flies and the beginning of being a little smelly by morning. Then the magic turns to more of a quicky and a much needed shower”

Have a lovely weekend, and maybe I will have something exciting to show you next week. I bet you can't wait to see a photo of a stinky fish hanging off a line?

[appledore]

Hi Will. Hope you had a fun weekend. We enjoyed ours. Our grandson loved Cuddles. He said he was a little kitten. lol
He asked if Pirate is a good cat or a naughty cat. I said he's naughty as he chases Cuddles. Then he asked if he's a big cat or a small cat, so I said he's small. Oh, he said he's a kitten. So I said no he's not a kitten, just a small cat. I could hear him muttering that he must be a kitten.

If you were our neighbours Will we'd buy gas masks so you could have as many BBQs as you want. You could do a rain dance when you were having a BBQ then that would sort the smell out. I don't like watering either.

Have your Petunias perked up a bit? Ours have, but they still look a bit droopy. We bought a Hebe with grey leaves that are purple on the ends. We have some more like that, and they have purple flowers. We have a lovely Hebe in a pot on the patio that has very small, narrow leaves that are bright purple and we looked for another one the same, but we couldn't find one.

I did laugh at the letters you would put round your home. You could put 'please put your brain in gear before opening mouth' above the settee. You could have a door mat with 'welcome on one side' and 'clear off' on the other, and turn it to the appropriate side when you saw someone approaching. When you're both 90 you can add 'once upon a time' to 'this is where the magic happens above the bed'.

I'm looking forward to seeing a stinky fish hanging off a line.

[WILL*REMAIN*STRONG]

Hi apples, glad to hear you had a good weekend. We had a lovely weekend, we fished...but still didn't catch anything. I could tell hubby was getting bored, so we only had a short spell on the river. I loved it, and will start to fish regularly on my own once we get back from our hol. We had a lovely BBQ on Saturday, then did a little more work in the garage on Sunday and had yummy steak and chips for dinner.

The petunias did perk up a little, but I wasn't happy with the size of them so put them behind the garden and replanted all baskets with Impatiens. We bought a hebe which was silver and purple at the ends, unfortunately it died. There are a few hebes that look similar, I couldn't say what variety we had? I hope yours does well.

So Pirate is a kitten and Cuddles is a cat, we can't argue with that. Small cats are kittens and large lardy bum cats like Rudey are as old as the hills! I think lardy bums lump is getting smaller...here's hoping anyway! I can't bear to think of him going under the knife...poor little button.

I think if we were neighbours we would be very kind and helpful to one another. I would not wish to offend you with BBQ's, but we might just have the odd one and give you plenty of warning so you could bring your washing in and shut windows. Funny to think of being neighbours with someone you chat to, but don't really know. But I think we would all prefer to have no immediate neighbours.

I thought of some more letters for the home and garden. On the gate- trespassers will be wacked with a bat, not merely for trespassing, but for the mere fact a trespasser will be within range and I have run out of wasps to swat. On the toilet door- Flush, or be flushed! On the spare bedroom door- I really wish this room would stay empty for longer. Above the bar- If you get drunk and pass out here, you will wake up somewhere else. And a picture of a broom sweeping away a passed out drunk would be beside the writing. On the kitchen wall- No I won't wash up later you freak! I wash up before the dishes turn into a crusty mess.. then I relax, like any sane person is capable of! And on one kitchen cupboard door- This is where the dishwasher could go, if I was a lazy wannabe snob with no hands.

Oh dear, it could go on longer than the ginger freaks.


We did book out next hol, we are going to the Peak District, it looks like a wonderful place to stay. Its a beautiful barn conversion in a nice rural area, so we should have a great base in a great area to explore. I was looking for fishing lodges in Scotland, but I am aware that hubby would not enjoy too much fishing. So until next year, I will hold off on a holiday where I can fish lots. We are going to go back to Scotland next year to a place we stayed at in February this year, I will get up early every morning and fish. Hubby can sleep in, then in the evening, I'll fish again. And if hubby wants to have a go he can, or he can make dinner.

[appledore]

Our Begonias have recovered from all the rain.

Hi Will. I'm pleased you enjoyed your weekend. I'm sure you'll catch a fish soon. It's ages since we had steak and chips. Yummy! I could eat some now.

The Petunias look a bit better, but they're still a bit droopy. Some Hebes don't seem to root very well. I dug one up to move it and the roots didn't seem to have grown at all. We like Hebes though, they're easy to look after.

Yes, Pirate is a kitten and Cuddles is a cat. They had another little fight today. Pirate did his long legs routine and then looked at Cuddles and made a noise that sounded like 'I don't like you', then Cuddles made exactly the same noise. So they must have their own language. I hope Rudey doesn't have to go under the knife. It's worrying when they have something the matter with them.

I'm sure we'd get on fine if we were neighbours. We try to be considerate and I'm sure you do too. Hubby says all neighbours are a pain and you're better off without them.

You'll be looking forward to your next holiday. Hubby might get to like fishing, you never know. If he catches some fish he'll get really enthusiastic and want to go fishing with you when you go to Scotland next year.

It's been a lovely day today, warm and sunny. It makes a change after all the rain.

[WILL*REMAIN*STRONG]

Hi apples, how was your weekend? Your begonias look nice.

We had our trip to Yorkshire for hubby's birthday, it was fab! We were near a picturesque reservoir for nice walks, and the B&B was really lovely. We had a super king size bed with gates and gate posts either end...very cool. We did lots of walking, and had a trip on a steam train which was great fun. I love steam trains, they are so beautiful. We didn't want to come home, it was over too quick and we wanted to see more places. But there's always another time, we are not far to have days out in Yorkshire.

Rudey was glad to get home, he has been a clingy boy. Yesterday he had a face off with next doors cat, but they didn't fight. I wonder if Rudey has given as good as he gets, and now bully boy is a bit afraid? You will need to fit Cuddles with some armour, then Pirate might think twice before giving him a swipe.

Its been raining here quite a bit, although I had a long walk yesterday and it didn't rain much whilst I was out thankfully, as I was not dressed for rain. I'm off out again now for a walk, hope it stays nice.

I am not sure if hubby will ever like fishing, it is not his kind of thing. But I'm sure he will have a go now and then, if he has to.

There's a short video of our steam train journey and some photos of scenery on the tube if you want to have a look.

[appledore]

Enjoying the view.

Hi Will. We had a good weekend thanks. We got lots done in the garden. It was our granddaughters birthday on Monday, but they were away so we're having a party here for her tomorrow.

I'm pleased you both enjoyed your weekend away. I watched your video. Is it the Keighley Worth Valley Railway? I had five great aunts who lived in and around Keighley, so when I was younger and we visited them we often had a ride on a steam train. We both love steam trains. We go to see them every chance we get. The bed sounded good.

Rudey would be pleased to see you. Cats are funny, they seem to like a good fight. Pirate jumped on Cuddles the other day. Cuddles is like my shadow when I'm in the garden. I threw some sausages out for the birds and Pirate ate them. I don't suppose they'll do him any harm. We saw a hedgehog last night, he was eating some bread we'd put out for the birds.
It's a lovely day today. Sunny, but not too hot.

[WILL*REMAIN*STRONG]

Hi apples, yes it was the Keighley Worth Valley Railway. It was a bit of a short journey, but fun. Steam trains are such magical things, I could live near a train track and watch them all day with pleasure. Its a shame there is any other sort of train.

The photo of the sparrow hawk is fabulous!

I hope you have a fun day with your grandchildren, I bet your granddaughter will love having another birthday celebration. I always loved birthdays when I was a kid, I had lovely parties, and my brother used to love it when it was my birthday because he had no friends, and on my birthdays he got to join in fun games with other kids. It was funny because he is five years older, but he would enjoy it like he was the same age.

I'm going fishing tomorrow, I have been waiting for a rainy day. Wish me luck, I think I need it. If I catch a fish I will celebrate by eating steak. If I don't catch a fish, I will eat as much fish as humanly possible all weekend.

Today I cut down half of our dead viburnum, I now need to dig out the whole thing as it looks lost. I thought I would see what it looked like before cutting it all down...and it looks rubbish. I think it dried out, I forget to water some stuff. I will plant a holly in its place.

I played a fun game with Rudey today. I sat him on the table and pushed a little stick up through the gaps...he went wild! It was so funny, for some reason he kept opening his mouth really wide...I think in excitement. I should have videoed him.

We have a couple of hedgehogs visiting at the moment, one male and one female. Well, the male won't leave the female alone...we get the great bonk off. And that is the male trying to bonk the female, and she does not have any of it. last years cubs ' Minty and Rocky' still come to our garden, they are both female. Vinny is gone, but we still have Biscuit, so he will probably mate with one or both females this year. I hope we get cubs next year, I have missed it this year. Do you feed sausages to the hedgehogs? I think they would eat anything, like cats! The hedgehogs have a good chew of the chicken pieces we put out before having them snatched away by a fox. even the mice come and chew the chicken. They also take cat biscuits.

We saw another film last night about a possessed doll, silly but not too bad.

I hope you enjoy your weekend.

[appledore]

IT'S A HARD LIFE BEING A CAT.

Hi Will, I agree with you steam trains are magical. We saw The Flying Scotsman last year, and we're planning to see it again soon. I could watch them all day too.

We had a good birthday celebration for our granddaughter. Her birthday has lasted for two weeks, and it hasn't finished yet. They're going glamping this weekend. We had to light the candles three times so our grandson could blow them out too.

Good luck with the fishing. I've a feeling you're going to catch something, and I'm looking forward to seeing the photo.

We had steak last Sunday and it was delicious. We've bought some more for this Sunday. I hope it's as nice.

It's a shame about your Viburnum. Holly will look good though. Hubby forgets to water things. He goes to all the trouble of planting something, forgets to water it and then can't understand why it's dead. I'm cutting some shrubs down in a planter. I think it would be better to dig everything out and start again, but we'll see what it looks like when it's finished. There's ivy poking through everywhere.

I can imagine Rudy playing with the stick. My dad used to poke a feather duster through the bannisters when our cat was sitting on the stairs. It was so funny watching him trying to catch it.

I hope you get some fox cubs next year. We haven't seen the fox again. Hedgehogs are like hoovers. They eat everything the birds leave. The birds aren't eating much at the moment, they're probably eating berries.

I hope you enjoy your weekend.

[WILL*REMAIN*STRONG]

Hi apples, how are you? The photo of Pirate is very cute, he looks like butter wouldn't melt!

I have been fishing twice but still no fish...I'm beginning to think I'm not very good at this. It is all about luck when you are spinning without baiting the water, my luck will have to change eventually. I could use bait, but instead I use lures which either do or don't catch fish...mine don't it would seem! I won't give up though, I will get one soon. I speak to other people who fish, and they don't have much luck most of the time without baiting the water...but we are in it for the fun of doing it, so you can't be disappointed really.

Several days, and several ways to spend every birthday is always good, glad you all had fun.
I like to say it is my birthday for days too. Hubby said it was his birthday the entire holiday, and I agreed! You can't argue with cuteness can you?


Mmmmm steak, you can't beat a good steak can you! Do you buy steak from a butcher or supermarket? I bought some sirloin steaks from Aldi, they weren't too bad.

I planted some more ferns and flowers, I haven't dug out the rest of the viburnum yet, it'll be a big job and I'll need hubby's help. We always need a digging bar to get through roots, and our garden is full of roots! Have you done more planting?

I have noticed autumn colour is beginning already, very exciting. I love autumn, best season by far for me. We go away in end of October, it will be lovely then I hope. I have found a couple of arboretums I would like to visit. I might also do a bit of fishing, you know, throwing a line and catching nowt! But who knows?

Rudey caught a little shrew, but I managed to get him away from it, after he dropped it to play with. It looked fine, and hopefully it survived. Little censored he is sometimes.

Hubby has tomorrow off work, so we are going to have a day out and eat out etc. This weekend I will garden, and hubby will garage. We hope to go out a little bit too, but I don't know yet. We saw a good film last night, not one we had seen anything about, so it was a pleasant surprise that it was good. Some films you look forward to seeing, and they turn out to be rubbish!

Hope you have a fun weekend, wish me luck with the fishing, I so need it. I might try again over the weekend...so fingers crossed.

[appledore]

Hi Will. We're both fine thanks. I hope you're ok too, also hubby and Rudey. Is Rudey's lump still getting smaller?

Pirate does look like butter wouldn't melt. Cuddles and him had a good fight the other day, and I'm sure it was Cuddles who started it. They were talking to each other in cat language again. It's so funny. Pirate is getting much braver, and we can get much closer to him.

Enjoying the fishing is the main thing. I'm sure you'll catch something soon, but even if you don't you're enjoying being out in the fresh air and meeting other people who fish.

Our family enjoyed the glamping last weekend, and our granddaughters birthday is finally over for another year. You're right you can't argue with cuteness.

We bought our steak at M&S and it was delicious. We often buy meat from Aldi and it's good, and cheap. We had our steaks with roast pots and veg. We're having lamb chops on Sunday. Yummy.

Our Petunias are about finished. The hanging basket doesn't look too bad, but I've moved the Petunia pots from the patio as they looked a mess. We went to a garden centre to see if we could find something to replace them yesterday, but there wasn't much so decided to wait until it's time for the winter flowering pansies. What sort of flowers did you plant? It's hard work digging out big shrubs. We got a man in.

It's looking very Autumnal now with all the berries. It's my favourite time of the year too. I've starting trimming some of the shrubs, and the hedges need trimming again. We don't want to do it too soon or they'll grow again , and look raggy over the winter.

I'm pleased you managed to get the little shrew away from Rudey. I saw the biggest spider I've ever seen today in the garden. I hope it doesn't get into the house.

I hope you've enjoyed your day out and had something tasty to eat.

Here's a photo of our new picnic table that's now been stained a respectable colour. It's the cheapest one we could find as we only use it for potting up.

Hope you have a good weekend.

[WILL*REMAIN*STRONG]

Hi apples, we are all very well thank you. Rudey's lump disappeared all by itself, thankfully! He would not have liked that trip to the vet, and I would have worried.

Have you managed to stroke Pirate yet? He looks like a cuddly cat in that photo, but then all cats do when they are asleep. Cuddles sounds like he can get himself into trouble, a bit like Rudey. I saw Rudey and next doors cat again just looking at each other with disgust, but walking away from each other very, very slowly without fighting. I think they have hurt each other a few times and are avoiding any future pain.

Did your family do glamping in a yurt or camping pod type thing? We are keeping that in mind for the future when we go and escape to the country. It might be good to have a lodge or two, and some camping pods. I have to say the idea of glamping for me would be awful! I don't mind camping once in a blue moon, but glamping is still camping to me, and I wouldn't pay to do it. But each to their own, glad they had fun.

Our petunias are almost finished too, some are still hanging in there behind the garden. I planted some cyclamen, which is one of my favourites. So we have cyclamen, impatiens, lobelia and geraniums at the moment. I might plant some winter pansies here and there. But I do bring the baskets in after summer flowers have finished.

Autumn is magical isn't it! Oh I love it, and can't wait to see more and more autumn colour on our walks. We will have to do some hedge trimming soon, and maybe take a bit more off a couple of trees. Then the garden will be raked to get rid of leaves and that's about it. Nice when you have done your final grass cut, and then look forward to *Christmas*

I never did try and dig out the viburnum, the other said is dying now, so it was really unhealthy. I have decided it will be better to move the holly in November. I did potter a bit in the garden this weekend, and put some lights on the frame at the front, where the birch is. They look lovely, just face the house so we can enjoy them.

I found the shrew again, dead! Rudey obviously found it and gave it a chew. The strange thing is he will kill a rodent without leaving a mark, just gives them enough chew to kill, then gets bored and leaves it for me to dispose of. I did feel sorry for the little shrew, such a shame. Absolutely beautiful little creatures, I wish cats wouldn't kill.

We went out and had steak, better than Aldi. I will have to try M&S, I bet it is better than Aldi. Some things from Aldi are really good, and although the steak was nice, we have had better. Did you have steak this weekend? We had a chicken dinner on Sunday, so I could spoil the foxes with the carcass. Do you like Salmon? We try and eat quite a bit of salmon, it is supposed to be very good for you...and tastes yummy butter fried with loads of garlic.

I went fishing on Saturday, stupid sun came out about five minutes after I started. So I came home empty handed as usual. I was asked if I caught anything by another couple of people there, and I said if I caught a fish everyone would know about it...because I would shout “I CAUGHT A FISH”! Very loudly! And probably jump up and down like an excited child. I did enjoy myself though, but strangely miss the canal, as it is so pretty there and full of fluffies. The swallows are nice by the river, they get so close to you and your rod, within millimetres. And there's some swans, baby ones which are so cute. Next time I go, I'll take some food for them.

I hope you had a good weekend. I like your picnic bench, the colour is very nice. What colour did you paint it the fist time?

[appledore]

Hi Will. Hope you had a good weekend. I'm pleased that Rudey's lump has gone. It's really good news. I wouldn't have liked to think of him having an operation. We haven't managed to stroke Pirate yet, but he's getting very brave. We can walk past him now without him running away. I think he wants to come for a stroke, but he's still frightened. I've just fed Cuddles and Pirate. Their bowls are a good way apart, and they keep giving each other dirty looks.

Our family went glamping in a pod. It looked very cosy from the photographs, but you'd have to drag me there. I can't think of anything worse than camping. Our daughter in law doesn't like the communal toilets and showers. They went with some friends, and had a really good time although it was cold.

Our Petunias in the hanging basket are on their last legs. We're waiting until we can get some pansies. We went to a different nursery last year, and the pansies were lovely. They lasted for ages, so we'll go back there. Our geraniums didn't do very well this year. Your cyclamens will look lovely, they're very pretty. Your lights will look lovely too.
We'll have to find a different tree for our Christmas lights this year as we dug the tree out that we usually use.

Hubby painted the gates this weekend. We're going to have to cut the hedge round the front garden as it looks such a mess.
We can't really leave it any longer. I hope it stops growing.

There are lots of berries this year. The Rowans are covered.

So Rudey found the shrew? He doesn't give up easily. Have you seen many spiders? We've had some huge ones in the house. I'm getting much braver though, although I'd rather not have them here.

We had M&S lamb chops yesterday. They were delicious, they melted in the mouth. I wrap them in foil and cook them in the oven. The last time we went to Aldi for some lamb chops they didn't have any. I'm not very struck on salmon, but I do like other fish.

I'll probably hear you here when you catch a fish. I'll hear an echo in the hills and say 'Will's caught a fish'.

The baby swans will be cute.



HELLO!!!! IS THIS THE CAFE?

[WILL*REMAIN*STRONG]

Hi apples, I have uploaded a couple of temporary vids on the tube for you to look at. Let me know when you've had a gander and I'll remove them. I seem to remember you saying you had not heard of Himalayan Balsam and the way they shoot seeds, so today I shook a load. It is time for me and Hubs to have a Himalayan Balsam war! Its great fun stuff!

Love the squirrel! So cute.. he's screaming " feed me till I'm all round like a ball! "

Hub is home, must get dinner on fast, we are both HANK!

[appledore]

HI Will. I've seen the vids thank you. It looks like fun.

We originally used golden oak stain on the picnic table, and it was horrible. We'll stick with ordinary brown in future.

[WILL*REMAIN*STRONG]

Hi apples, how was your weekend? We had to rush down to Hubby's mothers house fearing the worst about his dad, but it turned out to be a bit of an exaggeration. Oh dear!

I was just imagining Pirate and Cuddles with their bowls apart. It reminds me of when we used to feed Boris and Borat the squirrels, their bowls had to be apart too. Our dogs growing up had to be split apart, by putting the greedy one outside, whilst the other one ate inside. Animals seldom share nicely. I hope Pirate will come for a cuddle soon.

Speaking of cats, I picked up Rudey this morning. Poor thing, he didn't need to go in to the cattery again so soon. He was sick the night before, so I didn't feel good leaving him, but hubby wouldn't want to go on his own. I hope Rudey won't be sick again, it can be stress, he hates the cattery.

These days I couldn't be dragged on a glamping holiday, it is very unappealing to me. But if you like camping I suppose it is the next best thing, or better? I think I would have enjoyed it when I was in my teens with friends. I went to Center Parcs with a large group of friends, and it was great fun! But I think we would have had a ball almost anywhere. We all like different things, and it is hard to see why someone likes what they like sometimes, until you think of what you like and how weird that could be to another person. It would be boring if we were all the same. We had this sort of conversation this weekend. We don't miss going abroad, don't really want to do it, so seldom bother. And Hub's brother and family love it, and I bet they wonder why we like the holidays we do...

I bet your gates look nice now, it does make such a difference when gates have a fresh coat of paint. It is nice to have those sorts of jobs finished before the cold weather comes, you don't tend to bother much with the garden when winter comes. It is cool today, the house is feeling colder, so we might put the heating on in the mornings and evenings soon. It hasn't been on since early May, but this morning for the first time I felt like putting it on. Have you needed to use your heating yet?

The berries are lovely this year, but our little Rowans haven't got any! It is the first year one of them didn't produce any berries, it shows how shaded our garden is becoming with the overhang from the tall trees at the back. But the autumn colour is coming, and it is looking prettier all the time. I am keen to feel it is autumn in every way now, including colder weather. Summer is the one season I am keen to come to an end, I actually prefer winter, with the exception of having to wait too long sometimes to get back into the garden. But all seasons are good, I'm just thankful they all end and another begins, because I like the transitions.

Lamb chops are lovely, what sort of fish do you like? I love salmon, and I also quite like Trout occasionally. We tend to eat more cod and haddock, but knowing salmon is better for you, it makes you eat it for the goodness too. I don't like very stinky fishy fish, even if it is very good for you. I would have to hold my nose to eat certain fish...not sure I would bother even if it is good for me. It is hard to eat foods you don't like, I sometimes feel I need to hold my nose to eat what Hub's mum serves up. I ate beetroot this Sunday, oh goodness that was a bush tucker trial! But I survived, and my prize was getting to go home!

I can't wait to go fishing again, I will wait for a proper rainy day now. I might get lucky if it is raining. You will hear the echo 'I got you little fishy, I got you! Weeeeeeeeeee Woohooooo' Silly Will.

I hope your weekend was nice. Although ours was unexpected, we did see Hub's dad crack a smile the first day we visited, which is more than we have seen every time we have seen him in that home. I think he might pass away in the next few weeks or months, and for his sake I hope he can go peacefully in his sleep soon, because no one should have to suffer what he is going through. I believe in euthanasia, and would choose to go before I reach a stage where I can't think for myself or do anything at all. But it isn't legal yet, and people are left to suffer unfortunately, it is very sad.