Feeling blue ... tell me your own best-ever joke, please

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finbob
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Re: Feeling blue ... tell me your own best-ever joke, please

Post by finbob » Mon Aug 01, 2011 11:07 am

A chicken crossed the road and met James Bond, 'What's your name?' asked the chicken, 'Bond, James Bond. Whats yours?', 'Ken, Chick Ken. pmsl.xx

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WILL*REMAIN*STRONG
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Re: Feeling blue ... tell me your own best-ever joke, please

Post by WILL*REMAIN*STRONG » Mon Aug 01, 2011 12:22 pm

Did you hear the one about the estate agent who sold a house last week?

Didn't think so.

:lol:

appledore
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Re: Feeling blue ... tell me your own best-ever joke, please

Post by appledore » Mon Feb 20, 2012 6:50 pm

A man walks into a bar with a slab of tarmac under his arm and says 'a beer please, and one for the road'.
Keep calm and carry on.

JohnP1950
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Location: Coventry

Re: Feeling blue ... tell me your own best-ever joke, please

Post by JohnP1950 » Mon Oct 15, 2018 2:31 am

An elderly cockney gent shuffles slowly into an off-license, leans on his walking stick and asks the young lad behind the counter: "Can you recommend a good Australian wine, sonny?" The assistant responds with the suggestion "Jacob's Creek", to which the old guy replies "no sonny, just me knees".

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Captain Kirk (muffled): Mr Spock! When I said "Beam me up Scotty", I was talking to Scotty.

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Here are a few more. Some are better read out loud.

Q: What's the last thing to go through a fly's brain when it hits your windscreen?
A: Its arse.

Q: What do you call a fly with no wings?
A: A walk.

Q: What do you call a dinosaur with one eye?
A: Jathinkesaurus.

Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A: No idea (No-eyed-deer).

Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
A: Still no idea.

Q: What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A: Piiig.

Q: What do you call a bloke with three balls?
A: A Pawnbroker.

Q: What do you call an alien with three balls?
A: An extra-terresticle.

Q: What's the difference between a tapeworm and an estate agent?
A: One is a slimy pain-in-the-arse parasite; the other's a tapeworm.

Q: What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?
A: The taste.

Q: How do hippies get in touch with their inner selves?
A: They use Lidl "Value Range" toilet paper.

Uriah Heap
Posts: 238
Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2007 10:21 pm

Re: Feeling blue ... tell me your own best-ever joke, please

Post by Uriah Heap » Tue Oct 23, 2018 9:30 pm

JohnP1950 wrote:
Mon Oct 15, 2018 2:31 am
Captain Kirk (muffled): Mr Spock! When I said "Beam me up Scotty", I was talking to Scotty.
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

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